SOCIAL COMPETENCE (SELF-AWARENESS)

 

Awareness about your social competence

Another important aspect about which we need to build awareness is our social competence. Social competence constitutes a number of skills such as the ability to find common ground to establish rapport and minimize conflict; ability to persuade and influence others; ability to build positive relationships and maintain integrity.

Our success, be it in business or on jobs, depends to a great extent on our ability to develop deep and lasting relationships with people whom we are concerned with. People will usually give us clues as to what to say in order to connect with them. If we observe and listen carefully, we can pick up valuable information that will help us bridge gaps that exist between us and them. Social skills build on self-confidence, empathy and an optimistic attitude towards others. Social competence would begin to emerge when we act in ways that are mutual and pro-social in the social dimension. If we develop social skills, instead of being preoccupied all the time with our personal concerns, we must focus our attention on other people.

Much of our success depends on the attitude of others towards us. On the other hand, what they think of us is partly determined by the way we behave towards them. When you are in the company of others, instead of speaking all the while about yourself, you need to take interest in others and give them due importance. When you are in the company of a cricketer, for example, you would need to speak about cricket, the matches he played and won and such things. Similarly when you are in the company of a book lover, ask him what books he reads and how he feels about them, and so on. We should also listen to others with empathy and understanding. Depending on the impact we make on others, they may associate or dissociate with us. Only when people believe in our trustworthiness and integrity will they be favourably disposed towards us and ready to collaborate and synergize with us.

Social awareness is an important aspect if we are to attain collaboration and synergy. Better social awareness is possible only when:

• We are sensitive to others' feelings
• We have a better understanding of the consequences of their behaviour
• We begin to exhibit more pro-social behaviour and less destructive and socially disordered behaviour.
• We exhibit better self-control.

Along with becoming more socially aware, we also need to employ crucial behavioural skills, both verbal and non-verbal, if we are to be truly socially competent. Among the various verbal skills, some that need our focus are:

• Making clear requests
• Responding effectively to criticism
• Resisting negative influences
• Listening to others with empathy
• Participating in peer group activities

Side by side with these verbal skills, we would need to pick up and use some of the non-verbal skills such as communicating through eye-contact, facial expression, tone of voice, gestures, etc., If we are to be effective in our communication with others.

In addition to the above we also need to overcome some of the emotional deficiencies that can stand In the way of our acquiring better social competence. Furthermore, we would need to reflect and see whether or not we suffer emotional deficiencies such as:

• Preference to be alone
• Being secretive and sulking a lot
• Lacking energy and feeling unhappy
• Being overly dependent
• Having many fears and worries and being touchy
• Needing to be perfect.

In case you find yourself afflicted by any of these maladies you would need to do all within your power to eliminate it. Only when you are in a position to get over them will you be socially good and competent.

The fact is, when we manage to get over our emotional malaise, we will be able to send out a clear and convincing message to others, persuade, convince and win over people, and work in collaboration with others on tasks that are mutually beneficial. When armed with better social awareness and with crucial behavioural skills, both verbal and non-verbal, and pro-social activities, we are able to step forward with a win-win approach ready to help ourselves as well as others. Based on our understanding of others, we can claim to have better social competence.

We need to examine ourselves and see where we stand with respect to our social competence. In the event that we find ourselves lacking in social competence, we should make use of the information provided here and build up an appropriate level of social competence. Social competence is the major key to our success and accomplishments. We cannot afford to overlook it at any rate.