MANAGING EMOTIONS

 

Our intellect cannot work at its best without the help of emotional intelligence. Neither intelligence alone nor emotions by themselves can do much for our well being. What we need is proper coordination of our intelligence and our emotions so that our emotions are expressed appropriately and effectively. Many indeed are the consequences a failure on our part to manage our emotions well can generate! And so, it will be good to examine briefly here some of the reasons that necessitate proper management of emotions.

Factually, intelligence alone is not a predictor of prosperity and happiness in life. An individual could be as intelligent as Edison or Einstein was. However, this has little value if he/she is not in a position to manage his/her emotions. People with high intelligence can be startlingly poor in the management of their private life. Whether we thrive in life or not would largely depend on how good we are at handling our emotional life. People who are capable of managing their own emotions well and who can deal effectively with others' feelings are better off in life than those who do not. People with selfcontrol, says Goleman (1998), will be able to manage their impulsive feelings and distressing emotions well. They can stay composed, positive and unflappable even under the most trying circumstances. They can think clearly and remain focused under even the most threatening of situations. Conversely, people who lack control over their emotional life, fight bitter battles that sabotage not only their ability for clear thinking but also their efficiency at work. It is only when they pick up the ability to put some restraint on their emotions that they will be able to marshal their emotions in the accomplishment of their goals.

As compared with times past, children of today have better nutrition, facilities for various computer games and puzzles, and greater exposure. As a result, children the world over today show an overall IQ rise. Despite this IQ rise, there is a general decline as far as their emotional intelligence is concerned. Available data suggests that the present generation of children is emotionally more troubled than generations past. They are found to be more lonely and depressed, more angry and unruly and more impulsive and prone to worry. We find a worldwide decline in their basic emotional competencies. We find this manifested in them in the form of despair, alienation, drug abuse, crime, violence, depression, dropping out of schools, eating disorders, bullying and in several other forms. Children, therefore, need to pick up more by way of emotional literacy. In case they fail to do so, they stand to run the risk of not being able to master their emotional self. Children need sound grounding in the basics of emotional management. Only then will they be able to manage their emotional life with intelligence.

In order to attain optimum growth and development, people need to pick up the ability not only to manage their negative emotions but also the ability to make ample use of their positive emotions. They need to know what hope, optimism, persistence, perseverance, motivation, creativity, etc., are and purposefully nurture and utilize them in the accomplishment of their goals. In the absence of proper emotional support, no peak performance is possible. In the event of people failing to acquire these qualities, their attempts at excellence are bound to fall flat. Hence, there is an urgent need not only to help them manage their negative emotions but also help them nurture and exploit those positive emotions which are highly essential for their optimum growth and development.

People who have picked up the ability to manage their emotions both positive and negative are generally known to be socially poised, outgoing and cheerful. They are sympathetic in their attitude and caring in their relationships, have sufficient capacity for commitment to people and causes, and are comfortable with themselves and the social environment they live in. Being clear about their emotions, they are able to keep their various personality traits intact. As a result, they would tend to be autonomous, aware of their own limitations, maintain sound psychological health and a positive outlook on life. When experiencing a bad mood, they would be able to disentangle themselves out of it with ease. Conversely, those with little skill in emotional management would get themselves immersed in their emotions. They would feel so helpless as to give the impression that their moods had taken charge of them. Such people, confronted as they are with emotional torrents, would feel confused and bewildered. When the going gets tough, they wouldn't be in a position to strike a balance.

All said and done, only when positive and negative emotions commingled with proper balance in them would people experience a sense of well being. Those who lack in emotional literacy would find it extremely difficult to maintain this sense of balance and well being.